May 11, 2010

I was supposed to go to the movies to see 'Babies' with D (friend). When I went over to his place, B and D were apparently living together. D was all, "ehh..." and I could tell he didn't want to go, so I said, "WHAT?" in a firm voice. He said he remembered there was something at the Menil he really wanted to check out. So, I was like, "so you want to cancel our plans, is that what you're trying to not say?" D just stood there. So, I asked if B wanted to go instead, because he was standing there. B said he wanted to. D started showing B a book, so I just left and sat out in my car. B came out like 5 mins. later, and we started arguing, because when S was showing B the book he was trying to HIDE from me by putting his hood on... I said to B, "IF YOU EVER CANCELLED ON ME FOR BULLSHIT LIKE THAT I'D BE PISSED!" Then I woke up.

May 9, 2010

I was at work, but the salon was in a huge building. It almost seemed hotel-like at some points. I was supposed to be getting my hair done by my stylist at 12pm, but there was also this huge festival that day that I wanted to go to. At work, it was fairly busy and this like manager from "headquarters" came in to spruce up the place and was making ridiculous requests, so I was running around doing stupid shit. She was a stupid, tall cunt. She made a huge deal about me finding robes that didn't make her feel she was in an airplane. I tried explaining those were the only robes we had! I went to look around the building if I could find better ones to buy. Then I remembered that I was supposed to have the day off and meet B at a festival they were having deep, down in the basement of the building. So I just went down to that, and met up with a bunch of my friends, and then B arrived right before Beastie Boys got on stage, B kissed me and hugged me, and I was like, "wtf is wrong with your lips!?" Because they look fucked. B told me how he joined a "kissing club" and the girl he was kissing the night before really "beat up" his lips. He seriously looked like he had mouth herpes. The feelings of disgust I had for him at that moment... Omg. Mainly for the fact he was so pathetic to join a "kissing club" and then his lips being so gross. Beatie Boys started, B tried to hold onto me and whatnot, I kept pushing him away. Tool went onstage. Then Deftones. When Deftones were playing, B was all over my ass and was hard through his jeans. I stomped on his foot and tried distancing myself. When the set was over, B asked me why I was acting like that, and I told him that he disgusted me, and that I knew he just had sex with another girl, so I didn't see why he was trying to get sexual with me. B looked offended, but backed off. So, suddenly we're at a train station with some people, who aren't my friends, but we were all trying to make other performances in a different area of the city. We all couldn't afford a ticket, so we tried sneaking through this like weird opening, but I couldn't get past my fat thighs. So I told this girl who was EXTREMELY skinny, to try and get through, but her knees were too big. She somehow had gigantic knees. So we all tried to find other ways to get inside the proper platform for free. We finally found one, and then we all got on the train, but looked like a bus inside instead, and the people we were with purposely made it to where B and I had to sit next to each other. I really didn't want to, because he was trying to be affectionate, and I was trying to assure these people he was just a friend, not a boyfriend. So we get to this place and Rufio was playing, but we're many flights up and then I realize I need to be at work for my hair appointment. I rush away, get to work and my stylist is doing my hair wrong.

Suddenly I'm sitting in a car with my friend, and I receive an SMS reminding me my mother loves the cafe we're parked near. So I go into there, tell them who I am and they know my mom well, and won't let me even pay for all the pastries and slices of cake I bought. I went 2 doors down, gave my mother hers. Then I go sit at a table with 2 of my friends, and I'm telling them I need to get back home, but I leave a slice of this pistachio cheesecake I bought for B with a note saying, "I'm sorry" since for whatever reason B was meeting up with two of my friends. I get on a bike to get back home, while trying to balance a full cake, and 2 slices of other cakes. Then I get trapped in some weird building that has a lot of themed rooms. Woke up.

May 5, 2010

I had this super, awesome house. It was a lot of clean lines, stark whites and windows freaking galore! The architecture of the house felt so good. Kind of like an expensive house that you'd find on a private beach. B and I were hosting a wedding reception party for his father and his fiancee, but it was like the after-party time during my dream. The house was clean, Milton, Ginger, Drew and some other cool dog were in the dream. A (B's ex) was there, and B was going to run an errand of picking someone up from the airport. A walked B out while I was walking up to my room, but then I remembered I'd left the water running in the kitchen sink, as I'm walking down the steps, I see B getting into a van-like vehicle and B hugs A bye, but she tried to kiss him, B pulled away, then she forced herself on him. I was so furious by this! So I immediately run to the front door, push her baggage out (I guess she was staying over at my place?). And locked the door. B drove off, she comes to the door trying to get in. She gets past the locks and tells me she at least needs her camera case, so I get that off my table, throw it to her. She had a pill bottle next to it, but I put it in my pocket. They were pastel lavender colored. So I locked her out, making sure it's secure so she can't get back in. She starts crying and screaming that she has no money or way to get home. I go up to my bed. B came back not too long after, and consoled A. B's family was across the street (outside looked like typical upper-middle class suburb neighborhood...where I grew up). B had to get his photo taken, and had to stand in a "Family Tree" formation. There were signs of where he were to stand. B's had "B_____" and next to him was where his wife would be was just "M" so he went to go do the family picture. I started to feel badly for A so I let her in and we went to the kitchen. I asked if she'd help prepare a salad, she said yes, and I apologized. She asked "Are you 'M'?" And I said, "NO!" Super defensively. Told her I thought that maybe the "M" was to stand for "Michelle". So then A started telling me how she was sick of B making her act. I asked what she meant, and she went to tell me that privately B's still affectionate and do all their kissie crap. Then I was even more furious than before. Somehow time flew and I was back in bed, and I had windows open, with curtains flowing with the strong breeze. B came into bed with me. I guess maybe he lived with me, because it seemed normal or something. But I questioned B with what A had told me. B said, "eh" and I was like, "are you fucking kidding me?!" B replied with, "if D (ex) was here you'd do it, too" and then I woke up!

April 29, 2010

Nightmare that B got me pregnant and I was worried about how to explain that to F. But for some reason I had to keep the baby.

April 28, 2010

I was seeing an interview, live in some old man's house. It was of him retelling stories of breaking into neighborhoods and nearly getting caught. The guy talked about once when he and his friend ran into a woman's house after being caught in a house where the people were out of town, and they wanted the lady to help them not get into trouble so offered to do things around the house. "Man's work." She put out money on the table, which was only 40 cents and a troll doll. Interviewer asked if he's done some other bad stuff recently. He said he snuck out of the old folk's home to see a band play, and that he had fun. Suddenly he starts freaking out at a white spot on his ceiling, is all "what the fuck is this?! Is this the devil?!" And is scraping at it with a long... Scraper? And spraying water on it. The interviewer is trying to calm the elderly man down, and he finally is, and suddenly there is a visible black and white image of like a joker face. The interviewer kept telling him it'd go away, the old man was like "I know! I don't even mind it" and then suddenly it's me who is the interviewer. I jump into his bed. Then I woke up!

April 7, 2010

I was in some contest and I had to be flown under a plane, hooked too it by ropes... The process before I had to go through a lot of paperwork, and they showed me this book they put together of my life, in case I died. One section, the "present" was like an engagement announcement for D (ex) and me. The lady said, "we got these pictures from your Facebooks..." And it said D was 27, which he is. And it said I was 19! So I was like, "first of all, I'm 24. Second of all, D and I don't plan on getting married anymore and haven't for over a year." I noticed in the announcement one of the pictures of D was Albrecht Durer, but then I was just like "ugh whatever..." I had to have a talk about my mental and emotional status. The guy running the whole thing thought I was depressed about life, and I was like "wtf?" because it wasn't true. I then realized he really just didn't want to take me in the air. So I canceled and was like holy fucking shit, it's 6:30, I was supposed to be at work! When I woke up to a text related to work.

April 4, 2010

Dream 1:

F was in Houston visiting,and we'd woken up so I was trying to get him to fuck me. F would stick the tip of his cock inside me then like stop. Not even teasing. It was odd, as if he didn't want to have sex with me. So then he was fingering me, but I was more riding his fingers. The rhythm was so bad I got off his hand and just laid back down, really annoyed. And all I kept thinking was 'bad sex bad sex bad sex.'

Dream 2:

I was at the Galleria, and I was at an ice cream shop studying. I kept on wanting to try more and more ice cream. Which is odd because I get sick of ice cream fairly easily. A girl offered me this catalog of different ice cream combos but I was like in my head, "oh my god, this is pathetic if I want ice cream that badly that I need to look through a catalog" so I just sat back down. But when I sat back down I ended up sitting at a table with B and like 4 other people. I can't remember who... We were at these tables along the ice skating rink and there was a stage and a performance going on by MGMT and they were playing Kids. There were people dancing. I was like the only one dancing from the table I was at. I look around and notice there is artwork all around, hung from the ceiling and I recognize my own artwork next to the stage, so I was excited and pointed it out to B. In reality the artwork was like a bunch of pieces of works put into one. B was all over me and biting my neck. Suddenly there are tons of Nazi soldiers going through the crowd and taking people. I'm remembering I left my backpack at this store and felt I had to get it. So I left B and my friends. The store I go in is happens to be a store they're keeping people they're going to put into a camp. But before I realize that in frantically looking for the bag, which is now under all these clothes because the store has been torn apart. The backpack I was looking for was the one I got stolen out of my car when I was 16 and all my books were scattered around my neighborhood...Anyyyway,I couldn't find it and then a solider started yelling at me to get in the group with the rest of the people. So I did and I was like "fucking shit what the fuck am I going to do?!" I'm thinking of what I can do to save myself from this group. So I stand forward and tell the soldier that I'm a German Japanese mix, and so he asks for me to speak in Japanese to prove that I'm not some other kind of Asian. So I start speaking in Japanese. And then he's making me mime these different positions he's standing in, so I'm worried he's trying to test me and see if I'll copy something that I shouldn't. So then I just decide it's best if I bow. I was doing a "polite" bow (there are different bows depending on degree defines the meaning). It kicked in that I should be kissing this guys ass so I did a 45 degree bow, which is great respect, or if you're very sorry about something, even asking for a favor. And this entire time I'm thinking he can shoot me at any second while I'm fucking bowing. He pulls my head up and takes me by the arm and is a lot friendlier toward me and even kisses me and starts totally feeling me up. There are other soldiers watching the other captives, me and the soldier go kind of far and behind all these racks of clothing and I'm totally rubbing on his cock through his uniform and he actually felt small at first and I was DISAPPOINTED. Then magic! His cock got a lot bigger. He was unzipping his pants and he pulled down my thong and right as he was about to penetrate me there were a lot of gunshots going off. Stupid me ran over to the captive people! And we were all in a pile on top of each other and Gael Garcia Bernal was shooting in the piles! A nurse was sprinkling pain medications around us... I took tons. When Gael left, I got up and found my soldier but he said he needed to go because American military were coming so the German soldiers needed to get out of view. I so desperately wanted to fuck him that I followed him to the 3rd floor of the Galleria into this hotel that they were keeping the Nazi troops safe. So we sat down on some chairs and I thought "what the fuck am I doing?" And I woke up.

March 17, 2010

I was shopping at a cheap, tacky store with W (co-worker)... She and I found some dresses we were going to try on, then I received a phonecall from S (co-worker) to say I had a package. W presented it to me as some sort of surprise. I opened it and it was a packed lunch from my mother. BUT with further inspection of the package, I realized the return address was F's (my honey). So of course I'm like "WTF?" Freaking out. I text F and asked him what was going on. He tells me he and my mother have talked. It turned out he contacted my mother on Facebook and they'd been talking back and forth. All sorts of shit. Such as my mother complaining about me hating school. Telling F what I like for breakfast. And F even gave her a questionairre about me. I guess to "get to know more about me." I was really uncomfortable in the dream "....WTF?!" haha. Then I woke up in a severe panic, with my head down in a pillow.

March 8, 2010 (dream 2)

I was at work cleaning a product shelf and T, someone I'd not seen in years, came up to me and was acting weird. He quietly told me "I have another one" and I automatically knew he was talking about an STD, so I asked about the first one, he said it had gone away but now he has genital warts. All of a sudden two guys, one in a wheelchair, come up to me and make small-talk. The wheelchair guy had his wingman trying to help him get me to agree on going on a date with him. I agreed to hang out with them some time.

The next scene was an evening setting and the wingman came to pick me up in a truck and drove me to wheelchair guy's home just to use the restroom. I went inside, saw a gorgeous, but extravagant house. A lot of rich reds, golds and black for the interior design. I walked throughout the house... I get to one room and notice a body standing behind a set of thick curtains. The body turns around and emerges from looking out the window behind the drapes. It's wheelchair guy's mother. She greets me as though she'd heard of me and is very, very kind. Wingman and I get back into his truck because we're supposed to pick up wheelchair guy from somewhere. His driving is so erratic I'm so frightened that he's going to crash and kill someone or even kill me. He keeps making short, abrupt stops to the point where he's getting within inches of children in crosswalks. The topic of how wheelchair guy got into a wheelchair comes up...

There's a new scene where I'm on a roller coaster with wingman and he's telling me the story of his friend putting his arms up during the ride, and then the ride's belts tangled around his arms, chest and legs, and tightened more and more throughout the ride. As he's telling me the story I can feel everything tighten, and feel the adrenaline of a roller coaster. Then I see the wheelchair guy in a new scene where he could barely use his arms or legs... and then he quickly deteriorates to a paraplegic. But my arms kept feeling a great deal of pain, so then I woke up and my arms were actually in a strange state. Painful but also that "pins and needles" feeling.

March 8, 2010

I was reciting the material I was studying for my Art History test to F... I was talking about Bruegel's Falling of the Icarus... Suddenly, F got into a weird (effeminate) voice telling me s "story" about how a woman kept asking a guy if her voice was sexy, the guy said no. So the girl says, "I'll do something to make you find my voice sexy!" Then F did hand motions and suddenly my alarm went off. And in the dream I was so unimpressed by his (F) set-up of timing the hand movement with my alarm, that I just let the alarm go off so he couldn't talk over it. Then woke up to actually turn off my alarm.

Whoopi Goldberg

This is my most common reoccurring dream I've been having since I was very, very young and have continued to have this... NIGHTMARE!

I'm in a huge, dark mansion being chased by Whoopi Goldberg. Constantly in the dream I'm noting her lack of eyebrows, which just freaks me out even more. I run up a case a winding stairs, several floors and end up hiding in a closet. In the closet is an axe. Whoopi always finds me, and I attack her with the axe, cutting off her head and pushing her and the head into this black abyss within the winding stairs.

Cuts

For a few months, 4-5 years ago, I used to have this reoccurring dream:

Sitting in a bath, I'd start shaving my legs and then start to notice blood. When I investigated closer I'd see deep cuts all over my hands, then notice cuts on my wrists and arms. I'd start panicking and also notice cuts on my legs. When I'd wake up my wrists felt sore.

Inside Out

This dream I had about 4 years ago:

I was in a shower, obsessing over my bones. I was running my fingers along all my bones. I was obsessing over the fact that they were present. So I peeled my skin from my ribcage and pulled it up so that I could inspect all my bones and make sure that they were all there. I put my skin back down and continued with my shower.

Hot Dog Boy

About 10 years ago, not long after I'd become a vegetarian this dream occurred:

I was washing dishes in a cabin in the woods... while doing so I was watching a boy of about 4 years old play in the grass and suddenly he turned into a hot dog. That didn't phase me at all, so I continued to clean my dishes. Not too long after his transformation the "live" hot dog dropped over onto its side and I turned into a panic. I ran outside to the hot dog boy and tried to resuscitate him by giving him mouth-to-mouth, but the hot dog boy was dear. I was hysterical in my dream, then woke up actually crying.

My Dreams

I've often been told I have pretty weird dreams and oftentimes they're quite realistic. Sometimes they come true!

I love re-reading my previous dreams because I usually forget the dreams hours later, so it's like a brand new story when I come across them again.

I'll start off this journal by writing some of the dreams that stick out from the past then write as I dream.

xoxo,
Moni